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If at some point as a child you were let down or neglected by the adults around you, even if as an adult you can rationalise what happened to you (a family death, a divorcethat was for the best), it can affect your capacity to trust others. Abandonment issues.ĭo you constantly worry the person you are dating is going to cheat on you or leave you? Do you often leave at the slightest sign they are not happy with you? It might mean as a child you were heavily criticised or discouraged from being independent. You are unable to see your own inner resources. Dependency.ĭo you get so needy whenever someone likes you that you scare them away?ĭependency is when you have a core belief that you cannot manage life by yourself and need others to take care of you. While it’s normal to struggle with self-esteem now and then, if you truly feel you are worthless it either attracts someone who will take advantage of you over love you or means you might hide from love, worried others will only see the negative things you focus on. Low self-worth means you feel like you are not as good as other people or that there is something wrong with you that can’t be fixed. Low self-worth.ĭo thoughts occasionally pop into your head like, ‘I am just too hard to love”, or, “there are too many things wrong with me”? Do you often feel flawed, ugly, or useless? So fear of intimacy is fear of being fully seen for all that you are, and also fear of being seen as imperfect. We can’t fall in love unless we trust others enough to show them our weak side and our worries. Just because you appear confident and positive in relationships doesn’t mean you don’t suffer from fear of intimacy. Is there a point part way into any relationship where you start to experience feelings of panic and either sabotage the connection or just leave? Do people tell you you have a ‘wall’ they can’t get past? 10 psychological issues that mean you can’t fall in love 1. So before you decide that you can’t fall in love, consider if these psychological blocks are the real problem. Shutting down to love can lead not just to loneliness but to depression, anxiety, and a lowered immune system. But consistent connection and support from others that helps us recognise our value. Not the false representation offered by films and novels (more often than not a culture of addictive relationships over real love). Psychologically speaking, we do need love. Worry that you’ve never actually been in love but are just pretending? Or that something is wrong with you and you actually can’t fall in love? Or have you decided that love is silly anyways, you don’t really need it?